January 2023 Issue 1 - Shade Over Everything

  ORGASM NEWS INSIDE THIS ISSUE:

Masturbation Master

You can become a master of your orgasm by taking the time to figure out your orgasm formula. Knowing what your formula is will allow you to come up with the language to communicate with your partner(s)

 

Happy New Year luvs! If you are into the whole resolution thing, it is a great time for you to resolve to reach out to me and discuss those barriers that are holding you back from your best release. Take a chance to invest in your selfcare. Knowing the benefits of completing the sexual response cycle – climax – can add value to your whole-body health.

It is important to process the purpose of arousal when stimulated.

 

While there are so many tools out there to use, none of them will work if you do not allow yourself to relax into the thought of release. Allow yourself to get aroused and stay aroused as you enter the cycle. The body, brain and nervous system are all affected by the stimulation. Your body creates hormones that benefit the whole-body, your breast swell, erection develops, vulvas self-secrete, and hopefully you become vocal in your pleasure.

 

If you do not recognize the phases that your body is in, it is hard to relax into the process which will produce a more intense ending. Breath is important, so is picking up the signal that your arousal is getting to its peak when you feel as if you must pee you are near orgasm.  Use this to take in deep breaths at the count of four and releasing it for a count of four.  Then in for four out for two, and then two for two. You should be panting as you engage in whatever stimulation is happening in the moment. Stay in the moment and ride the tide of the release until completion. This includes the post orgasm phase of wanting to cuddle, sleep, smile, and/or being energized enough to pop up and make a sandwich.

 

As an Orgasm Coach I spend hours of research and understanding of the anatomy and its role in physical intimacy. While science may still be arguing about the ejaculate from a vagina, we can use common sense and appreciate how the body proceeds naturally through the process. My coaching, courses and workshops are full of common-sense solutions and accurate information about the human body that will help you address generational conversations about touching yourself, enjoying sex, asking for sex and of course having sex.

 

If for some reason you are not able to complete the sexual response cycle, you may have barriers or trauma that is preventing you from doing something about it.

 

There is no better way to learn and move through life than with the pleasure of human touch and interaction. You can explore masturbation and learn the best methods to get your body engaged. Learn to love every each of you. Give yourself compliments, set the stage and again, give yourself permission to explore your body for the purpose of pleasure.

 

 

Find out information about my events and workshops by finding Shades Oasis on Eventbrite and purchase a ticket from the site. Join me for a Brown Bag Lunch workshop on Wednesdays at noon on Zoom. Best $10 you will spend. You do not have to be a member to get the link to the workshop. https://www.eventbrite.com/d/oh--Columbus/shades-oasis/

Your "O" Is Your Responsibility

 As a Clinical Sexologist and Master Sexpert I spend my time helping couples and individuals through barriers to their O. As an Orgasm Coach, I have been successful in working with individuals to teach them how to be responsible for their own orgasm. Think about how hard it could be to ask for what you want when you’re getting busy. If you have no hesitations, you’re in a special class. Most are very timid when it comes to discussing sex for pleasure. Their pleasure, so they spend way too much time having lack luster experiences. I'm an advocate for modern day sex education. Education that speaks to the reality of healthy sex. Healthy sex includes being able to speak up for your orgasm. How do you do that? You learn everything you can about your orgasm. If you have never had one, this information is good for you too. An orgasm is the completion of the Sexual Response Cycle. The cycle has four phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Everyone with sexual interest can complete this cycle.

I guide my clients and friends to masturbate several times a week. Each time, allow yourself to be very aware of what you are doing to bring on your pleasure. Before you jump to a "clinical" situation, you can use mindfulness in pleasure. Be very in tune with what moves your making, with whatever method you are using, will teach you what it takes to create your orgasm. Masturbation is fun, but sex with others can be funnier. After reading this, you should never have another lack luster experience regardless of your lovers’ experience. Learning how to do this may stretch your comfort level so do self-care if you read on. Be sure that you adhere to your gut and move at your own pace.

In order to speak up for your orgasm you should learn some of the language that you can use to explain to a lover what will get you there. For starters, now that your vulva, vagina, perineum and anus are all pleasure points. Within the vagina there are several spots(areas) that can be stimulated to orgasm. Some of these orgasms are shallow, leaving butterflies in your stomach and some are mind-blowing and memorable. For a vulva owner, these vaginal orgasms can be created alone and expanded upon with a mate. Here goes the good stuff. The vulva itself is a hot spot. Applying a little pressure to it will cause arousal for most. This is because you are stimulating the internal clitoris. On the outside of the vagina you can stimulate the clitoris, urethra opening, (Uspot) and the vaginal opening (Vspot).

All of the areas I share with you can be stimulate with fingers and toys. Figure out for yourself what sort of play you enjoy and build on that. This is important to keep in mind when you start to stimulate the inside of the vagina. The cervix (Cspot), Gspot, anterior fornix (Aspot), skene's glands (Pspot), the deep spot and the cul de sac can all be sexually stimulated. A majority of these areas can be stimulated with various finger play techniques, some of them require a folic to manipulate. Using toys that vibrate may be helpful too. The Uspot is located below the clitoris and above the urethra opening. This is where urine comes from. This space is really sensitive to touch. The vaginal opening is where things can be placed inside. There are over 8,000 nerve endings within the first few inches of the vagina, be sure to spend time activating all of them.

The cervix may be painful for some to touch. It is a firm, muscle that has connecting tissues attached to it. With a lube finger or dildo, you can apply light pressure and a circular motion to bring on a Cspot orgasm. The Gspot still exist under a veil of confusion and myths. It is located 2-3 inches inside of the vagina in the upper wall. (right behind the pelvic bone) Stimulation requires an understanding of angles but know that positions that tilt forward toward the front wall are most likely to bring on a successful Gspot orgasm. This orgasm is not to bring about ejaculation from the vulva owner. This is normal and pleasurable. The Aspot is also located in the top of the vaginal wall. It is about 4-7 inches in, right before the cervix. You may even feel the cervix when attempting to reach the Aspot. Often confused with the Gspot, this orgasm can be quite intense but often does not result in ejaculation.

Similar to the prostate, the Pspot (skene's glands), produce the fluid that is ejaculated. Pressing down on the lower vaginal wall will stimulate these glands and bring on much excitement. The sensation from this stimulation races up the spine and can be felt in the toes. The vaginal wall can be massaged and stroked to orgasm as well. Going all the way to the back of the vagina, passed the cervix, you will find the back wall or deep spot. With medium pressure, press against this space (thrusting only if wanted), usually medium is enough pressure to get you there. This is the same for the cul de sac. This area is located at the back of the vagina. You must go down into that space with fingers or a curved toy. It is hard to reach with a penis. This orgasm is intense and can result in ejaculate.

The vagina holds many wonders of pleasure. Learning which of these spots can bring you the most pleasure and figuring it out can be so much fun. Take what you learn and speak up for yourself when you’re with someone. Your orgasm is your responsibility, if you don't stand up for it, you will not experience it. While it may be uncomfortable to share what you find out, you will be able to gain all of the benefits from orgasm. You can do it.