MARCH 2023 I S S U E 3 - Shade Over Everything

 

ORGASM NEWS INSIDE THIS ISSUE:

 Penis Health - Jelqing

The penis requires adequate blood flow for its health. Especially as it ages.  There is an exercise that can help maintain a healthy penis that is easy and painless.

 

Here comes Spring! A great time of year to seek companionship, couple up.  It is also a great time to open your mind to more intense orgasms and pleasure.  While there has not been a source for modern day sex education, there is one now.  With twelve years of knowledge about the art of orgasm.  I stand ready to assist anyone seeking to overcome barriers to orgasm.  Learning about the body’s ability to heal itself through its own reaction to stimuli is amazing.  My thought is, if you are going through the motions of intercourse, you should be giving and receiving in ways that create the perfect storm of hormones and chemicals to support your sexual wellness

 

  

 Hey luvs! I am so excited about this year so far.  I have been so honored to be on platforms where I can discuss something so innate in us so far this year.  The importance of sexual wellness education is becoming more mainstream. 

 

Just about every area of sexuality can be specialized.  If you know my work, you know mine is the art of orgasm.  All bodies need wellness to perform at its peak sexually.  Our body’s ability to create an orgasm is a miraculous, complex formula of hormones, breath, and ability. So many moving parts make up the pleasure principle that there are going to be times where we need to take steps to get care and education on how to maintain a heathy state of sexual wellness.

 

In my line of work, I am always happy to help individuals find their way to sexual wellness. It seems that we are climbing from an age of shame and stigma around seeking help with issues of sexuality. Still, penis owners do not talk about penis health until there is an erectile dysfunction. Understanding the body’s process in creating an erection helps you evaluate areas in your life where you can make adjustments that will allow the body to heal and began to move in agreement with the miraculous process of pleasure and sexual wellness.

 

To make an erection happen, the brain, the nervous system, blood vessels and a few key hormones work together to cause blood to be redirected to the penis causing it to grow engorged, erect and extended.  Penis care is important for sexual wellness.  Erectile dysfunction is real, has many causes and can wreak havoc on a person’s mind and relationships.

 

Let me share this exercise with you so that you can use it to keep your penis healthy and to ensure your sexual wellness as your body moves through the process of living. Jelging is the process of stretching your flaccid or semi-erect penis two times a day creating micro tears that engorge when they heal. This should not be painful.  If you are do experience pain, stop doing the exercise.

Some people believe that this exercise will increase the girth and length of your penis when it is erect.  This works for a small number of people and takes performing the exercise daily.  It does make your erections last longer. 

 

Of course, you must know the possibility of side effects.  You can squeeze to hard, too often or too aggressive which will cause major tears that will indeed be painful and could contract bacteria. The penis is connected to the pelvis, aggressive can cause damage to the ligaments. In the worst case it can cause permanent damage to affect your ability to stay hard.

 

While the benefits of jelging out way the side effects if you perform them correctly. Bruising of the penis, soreness of the shaft, skin irritation from rubbing.  Scar tissue is damaging to the penis.  Avoid any activity that may cause scar tissue.  Just remember to not get all the way hard.  The purpose is to gently massage and move blood through your tissues.  Of course, if you are fully erect, blood is flowing through the penis at full blast and the tissues are filled with blood. 

 

 Lube is crucial for jelging. Use plenty of it.  Slippery and wet, will create a friction that will prevent chafing. A great water base lube or unscented lotion or baby oil will work as well. Sit down or lean on a table. Place your index finger and your thumb in an O shape. Place that O gesture at the base of your penis. Squeeze the O until you put mild pressure on the shaft. Move your finger and your thumb toward the head of the penis until you reach the tip.

 

Again, pull back on the pressure if it starts to feel painful.  Loosen your grip at the tip and go back to the base.  The process of moving from base to tip should take about 3 to 5 seconds. Stretch the flaccid penis. Repeat twice a day for about 20 minutes. If the friction with the lube is too stimulating, don’t use it.  Just watch that you’re not chafing.  That is a big part of jelging.  While the benefits are great, it is easy for you to do the wrong thing.

 

Another method is to form your fingers like you are about to pinch your penis.  Move your hands up and down, stretching your shaft and repeating the pump again up to 5 seconds. Stay out of your head. Concentrate on not creating an orgasm. Stress of any kind can prevent you from concentrating on the exercise itself. If your curve is sharp, hopefully you have reached out to a specialist who can rule out Peyronie’s disease. If you find yourself with scar tissue on your penis, see a doctor if you find you are swollen without pleasurable stimuli, if it is bleeding or oozing, seek medical help right away.

Want to join me online for more sex education? I have a Brown Bag Lunch workshop on Wednesdays at noon on Zoom. Best $10 you will spend. https://www.eventbrite.com/d/oh Columbus/shades-oasis/

January 2023 Issue 1 - Shade Over Everything

  ORGASM NEWS INSIDE THIS ISSUE:

Masturbation Master

You can become a master of your orgasm by taking the time to figure out your orgasm formula. Knowing what your formula is will allow you to come up with the language to communicate with your partner(s)

 

Happy New Year luvs! If you are into the whole resolution thing, it is a great time for you to resolve to reach out to me and discuss those barriers that are holding you back from your best release. Take a chance to invest in your selfcare. Knowing the benefits of completing the sexual response cycle – climax – can add value to your whole-body health.

It is important to process the purpose of arousal when stimulated.

 

While there are so many tools out there to use, none of them will work if you do not allow yourself to relax into the thought of release. Allow yourself to get aroused and stay aroused as you enter the cycle. The body, brain and nervous system are all affected by the stimulation. Your body creates hormones that benefit the whole-body, your breast swell, erection develops, vulvas self-secrete, and hopefully you become vocal in your pleasure.

 

If you do not recognize the phases that your body is in, it is hard to relax into the process which will produce a more intense ending. Breath is important, so is picking up the signal that your arousal is getting to its peak when you feel as if you must pee you are near orgasm.  Use this to take in deep breaths at the count of four and releasing it for a count of four.  Then in for four out for two, and then two for two. You should be panting as you engage in whatever stimulation is happening in the moment. Stay in the moment and ride the tide of the release until completion. This includes the post orgasm phase of wanting to cuddle, sleep, smile, and/or being energized enough to pop up and make a sandwich.

 

As an Orgasm Coach I spend hours of research and understanding of the anatomy and its role in physical intimacy. While science may still be arguing about the ejaculate from a vagina, we can use common sense and appreciate how the body proceeds naturally through the process. My coaching, courses and workshops are full of common-sense solutions and accurate information about the human body that will help you address generational conversations about touching yourself, enjoying sex, asking for sex and of course having sex.

 

If for some reason you are not able to complete the sexual response cycle, you may have barriers or trauma that is preventing you from doing something about it.

 

There is no better way to learn and move through life than with the pleasure of human touch and interaction. You can explore masturbation and learn the best methods to get your body engaged. Learn to love every each of you. Give yourself compliments, set the stage and again, give yourself permission to explore your body for the purpose of pleasure.

 

 

Find out information about my events and workshops by finding Shades Oasis on Eventbrite and purchase a ticket from the site. Join me for a Brown Bag Lunch workshop on Wednesdays at noon on Zoom. Best $10 you will spend. You do not have to be a member to get the link to the workshop. https://www.eventbrite.com/d/oh--Columbus/shades-oasis/

Your "O" Is Your Responsibility

 As a Clinical Sexologist and Master Sexpert I spend my time helping couples and individuals through barriers to their O. As an Orgasm Coach, I have been successful in working with individuals to teach them how to be responsible for their own orgasm. Think about how hard it could be to ask for what you want when you’re getting busy. If you have no hesitations, you’re in a special class. Most are very timid when it comes to discussing sex for pleasure. Their pleasure, so they spend way too much time having lack luster experiences. I'm an advocate for modern day sex education. Education that speaks to the reality of healthy sex. Healthy sex includes being able to speak up for your orgasm. How do you do that? You learn everything you can about your orgasm. If you have never had one, this information is good for you too. An orgasm is the completion of the Sexual Response Cycle. The cycle has four phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. Everyone with sexual interest can complete this cycle.

I guide my clients and friends to masturbate several times a week. Each time, allow yourself to be very aware of what you are doing to bring on your pleasure. Before you jump to a "clinical" situation, you can use mindfulness in pleasure. Be very in tune with what moves your making, with whatever method you are using, will teach you what it takes to create your orgasm. Masturbation is fun, but sex with others can be funnier. After reading this, you should never have another lack luster experience regardless of your lovers’ experience. Learning how to do this may stretch your comfort level so do self-care if you read on. Be sure that you adhere to your gut and move at your own pace.

In order to speak up for your orgasm you should learn some of the language that you can use to explain to a lover what will get you there. For starters, now that your vulva, vagina, perineum and anus are all pleasure points. Within the vagina there are several spots(areas) that can be stimulated to orgasm. Some of these orgasms are shallow, leaving butterflies in your stomach and some are mind-blowing and memorable. For a vulva owner, these vaginal orgasms can be created alone and expanded upon with a mate. Here goes the good stuff. The vulva itself is a hot spot. Applying a little pressure to it will cause arousal for most. This is because you are stimulating the internal clitoris. On the outside of the vagina you can stimulate the clitoris, urethra opening, (Uspot) and the vaginal opening (Vspot).

All of the areas I share with you can be stimulate with fingers and toys. Figure out for yourself what sort of play you enjoy and build on that. This is important to keep in mind when you start to stimulate the inside of the vagina. The cervix (Cspot), Gspot, anterior fornix (Aspot), skene's glands (Pspot), the deep spot and the cul de sac can all be sexually stimulated. A majority of these areas can be stimulated with various finger play techniques, some of them require a folic to manipulate. Using toys that vibrate may be helpful too. The Uspot is located below the clitoris and above the urethra opening. This is where urine comes from. This space is really sensitive to touch. The vaginal opening is where things can be placed inside. There are over 8,000 nerve endings within the first few inches of the vagina, be sure to spend time activating all of them.

The cervix may be painful for some to touch. It is a firm, muscle that has connecting tissues attached to it. With a lube finger or dildo, you can apply light pressure and a circular motion to bring on a Cspot orgasm. The Gspot still exist under a veil of confusion and myths. It is located 2-3 inches inside of the vagina in the upper wall. (right behind the pelvic bone) Stimulation requires an understanding of angles but know that positions that tilt forward toward the front wall are most likely to bring on a successful Gspot orgasm. This orgasm is not to bring about ejaculation from the vulva owner. This is normal and pleasurable. The Aspot is also located in the top of the vaginal wall. It is about 4-7 inches in, right before the cervix. You may even feel the cervix when attempting to reach the Aspot. Often confused with the Gspot, this orgasm can be quite intense but often does not result in ejaculation.

Similar to the prostate, the Pspot (skene's glands), produce the fluid that is ejaculated. Pressing down on the lower vaginal wall will stimulate these glands and bring on much excitement. The sensation from this stimulation races up the spine and can be felt in the toes. The vaginal wall can be massaged and stroked to orgasm as well. Going all the way to the back of the vagina, passed the cervix, you will find the back wall or deep spot. With medium pressure, press against this space (thrusting only if wanted), usually medium is enough pressure to get you there. This is the same for the cul de sac. This area is located at the back of the vagina. You must go down into that space with fingers or a curved toy. It is hard to reach with a penis. This orgasm is intense and can result in ejaculate.

The vagina holds many wonders of pleasure. Learning which of these spots can bring you the most pleasure and figuring it out can be so much fun. Take what you learn and speak up for yourself when you’re with someone. Your orgasm is your responsibility, if you don't stand up for it, you will not experience it. While it may be uncomfortable to share what you find out, you will be able to gain all of the benefits from orgasm. You can do it.